The Childless Doula

I am a birth worker, but I don’t have children yet. But this does not affect my ability to be the most kickass doula. Let me tell you why.

I am lucky to be able to say that I work as a Medical Assistant in an Obstetrics office. This gives me the opportunity to meet tons of amazing pregnant women, and be smack in the middle of birth central. My life is consumed with birth work, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love being that support person, and hearing all the ups and downs of pregnancy, while being that first line that the patients talk to before they see the doctor.

I know there is a stigma with some parents who speak with those of us with no kids that think, “you just don’t understand.” I have witnessed that and trust me, I get it. I have not been pregnant, nor have a I delivered a baby. I have no idea what it feels like to have perpetual kicking to the ribs 24/7, or shopping for a new bra because my boobs have tripled in size.  But I have consumed a plethora of knowledge that allows me to fully support any woman through the journey of child birth.

Not being a parent does not keep me from listening to your needs, your wants, your questions. It doesn’t stop me from giving you all of my attention when you are either my patient or my client. Although I can’t say, “Oh my gosh I know, sleeping while 38 weeks pregnant is horrible”, I can say “You know, I have heard a lot of tips from other pregnant ladies and I’ve come up with some really helpful ways to help you sleep!” I can sympathize with you and connect in every other way that I can. Believe it or not, I am learning from you. With this much exposure to pregnancy and babies, I am getting more information then most parents EVER did.

Now to go along with this topic, one thing that I do hear a lot of when a fellow doula is asked why they became one, the answers are frequently, “Because of my own positive birth experience” or “Because my birth experience was not that great, and I want to help women have a better experience”. They are AWESOME answers. But, unfortunately, I can’t answer that way.

So here’s my reason:

I became a doula because I love the idea of women feeling empowered by bringing a child into this world. The realization that one human being can go through this amazing event, and forever be changed. I became a doula because seeing someone become a parent is one of the most gratifying things to witness. The emotions that fill their bodies when they see their baby’s tiny nose, feel that tiny grip of their hand. And feel the overflow of their heart. To provide comfort to couples in every way possible while awaiting the birth of their first or tenth child. To witness miracles. To be inspired. I became a doula so that I could share my knowledge with every woman I meet. To make them also feel empowered.

You know what? Being a childless doula is empowering. Since I haven’t had any children, I get to witness from the sidelines. Watching YOU work through the pain, through the contractions. I get to watch you push until you think you can’t do it anymore. But you do. And you give life to a little person that grabs onto your heart and never lets go. YOU empower me. You make me realize that I can do that one day. I WILL do that one day. You allow me to see into a world that not many are lucky enough to see. And there is no better feeling.

Even though I am not a parent yet, I know that I am a strong doula. A confident one. And one that walks away from a birth feeling stronger and more confident. After looking into your eyes letting you know that, “You can do this”, that when my time comes, I can do it too. And I’m gonna kick ass.

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